Category Archives: Miscellany and Nonsense

Circus of the Mind

Bob Prophette, the world’s foremost (and only) Metaphysical Bookmaker will be bringing his Circus of the Mind to delight the crowds at Festival 23. Circus of the Mind is a three ringed circus of feasts for your intellect and imagination featuring games and performances associated with Metaphysical Betting (anything unprovable but “true,” Bob is the bookmaker for you); the Court of Moral Ambiguity (let Bob challenge your rationalisations of morally ambiguous acts and find out just how morally ambiguous you really are); and the Confessional for Modern (Cognitive) Sins (confess you sins of memory, decision making and bias to Bob and receive the absolution you deserve). So look out for Bob the Bookie, Bob the Judge and Bob the Priest and discover something new about yourself and others. You may even get a chance to punish Bob for his sins. Now where is that whip?

Mr Vast and the Vast Minority

“Jesus,  you’re not easy to describe, you know? Okay, let me think.. You’re like a Muppet version of a Philip K. Dick novel… A Mr Vast gig is similar to that moment when you realise you’ve been secretly filmed by Derren Brown for the last six weeks…One of my mates thought you were well dodgy while the other insisted on paying you double for your CD!? How’s that?” John Higgs.

“He’s a preacher, a screecher, an Archie Leacher An artless dodger, a limelight hogger, a dead horse flogger. He‘s the genial game-show host whose mind is toast. The quiz-master with all the wrong answers. The life coach on the National Express. The high-street shaman in the sequinned dress. This is his sweat lodge seminar, his powerpoint aberration, the shotgun in his shell suit, the seamonkey on his back A burnt-out, blurted-out, beercan-touting carry-out cabaret.”

Henry Sargeant trained as an actor and “dark clown” before veering off into music as frontman of the legendary Wevie Stonder, dubbed by the BBC as ‘the Monty Python of electronic music’ They went on to record 5 albums and two Maida Vale sessions. Mr Vast is his solo project and without the band he has heightened the theatrical/comedy elements to new bewilderingly ecstatic levels.

Spirit Animal Fashion Show

Sign up at information to take part in the Spirit Animal Fashion Show. We will be building costumes in the run up to the show and have some resources to help but you are more than welcome to prepare outfits in advance for what will no doubt be the most glamorous event in anthropomorphised soul manifestation.

Contributors will be cosmically rewarded.

Note: Need not be an animal. If your spirit guide is ice cream, moss, or Chris de Burgh, we’re fine with that – it’s your guide after all.

Happy Hardcore Aerobics

All the great feeling of raving, jumping, and ‘just wiggling your fingers in the sky yeah’ but totally sober, if you like, and in the middle of the day!

All the joy of blood pumping, moving in time with other humans, spandex and getting red in the face – without gyms and ‘gym people.’

Moving all the muscles in your body feels GREAT, getting a warm face and a fast heart is GREAT, hardcore is GREAT.


Puppy Piles 4 Lyf

Megan The Hardcore Fairy

Human Crufts

Think you have trained a fine quality human? Submit them for Festival 23’s Human Crufts! Only humans of the highest pedigree allowed.

No biting! No licking! No humping! Dogs marked on their teeth, coat and vigour! Agility and party trick rounds!

Register your human at the information point on Friday to enter…

Milk the Cow Podcast

Milk the Cow will be broadcasting via an FM transmitter to the festival as COW23 FM to keep you updated about all the happenings on site and playing some nice tunes to get our day started (and hangovers conquered) before we’re ready to go again!

Milk the Cow is a multi genre promotions and events organisation, a podcast with a global reach but most of all a community of like minded people – many of whom have never met – who come together to make a positive contribution to turning the tide against those who seek to paint the world grey and suck the soul out of life.

MTC is about the us, you and I, the people, we are Cow.

Milk the Cow has been organising events, raves and warehouse parties since the late 90’s and more latterly has seen their reputation grow exponentially beyond the North East of England via a podcast which is regularly number 1 on ITunes with a global reach. Previous guests include: Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry, Mr C (The Shaman), Dr Rick Strassman (author of DMT: The Spirit Molecule), Sage Francis, Chester P, Bez (Happy Mondays), Amelia Womack (deputy leader of the Green Party), Johan Hari (author/journalist), Dr Alfie Bown (author of Candy Crush and Capitalism), Perc (world class techno artist), and many many more.

Milk the Cow will be bringing a variety of things to Festival 23 including the podcast (which has recently embarked on a sold out theatre run in Newcastle upon Tyne) as well as an array of performers in the ‘Milk the Cow’ tent. MTC will be speaking with some of the well known names attending the festival and are particularly keen to involve you so please do come and see them if you have a story to tell – they’d love to meet you. All of the audio recorded at Festival 23 will be released on MTC’s ITunes channel which you can subscribe to here

For Android users please download the ‘Podcast Addict’ app and search ‘Milk the Cow’.

Come and join the Cowmunity!
Twitter: @mtcpodcast